Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
