i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My ATM looks so different sober.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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