Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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