so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
