I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
