3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
