Jerry, you need to find god
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
