you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
it glows. i had to have it.
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He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
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He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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