come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
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I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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