There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
