If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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