glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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