"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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