he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
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Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
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It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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