Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
