I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize