just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
What a dumb baby whore.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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