if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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