it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
