Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
