I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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