Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
