But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Moan for me like Helen Keller
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
