haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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