From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
