He kissed a someone with a penis
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
