So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
