What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i've created a new STD.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
