I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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