Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize