Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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