This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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