Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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