Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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