Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Randomize
