have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
