her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
