Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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