it wasn't lemon gatorade
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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