If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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