Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
