She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
