my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
