I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
