I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
