Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you would pick up someone in the library
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
