i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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