After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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