I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
