She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
