carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
