I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
