hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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