Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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