I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize