Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
