It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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