Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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