You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
