I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
